Promotion

The President of a large company calls in one of the employees of the company.

“Well, Mr. James, you already have worked a year at our company. You have started at the mail room, after a short 2 weeks you went to sales, then a month later you became an Area Rep and 4 months later you were promoted to Director of Sales. And now, because I’m seriously thinking about retiring, I want to ask: What would you think of taking on the job of the Company President?

“Thank you”, says the employee.

“Thank you???” this is all you can say?

“Okay, than ‘Thank you, Dad!’”

True Story 1

The author of the Sherlock Holmes stories, Sir Conan Doyle, was on a vacation in France.

As he arrives to Paris, he waves down a cab.

"Where can I take you Mr. Doyle?", asked the driver.

"Have we ever met?", asked back the surprised writer. "How do you know my name?"

Religious Duel

When the new pope gets elected, he decides that his first act as pope will be to ban all Jews from the Vatican.
The Jews get really offended, so the pope agrees, that if the Jews can win in a theological debate, then they could stay.
For the purpose of this religious duel, the Jews choose a very wise old rabbi. And to make it even more interesting, he suggest, the they should use only signs and not words during the proceedings.

The day comes, the pope and the rabbi sit down across each other, and they start.
The pope holds up 3 fingers.
The rabbi holds up one.

Vegetarian

The word "vegetarian" comes from the ancient indian culture...

It means "bad hunter".

Alcohol

At a university a biology professor is trying to teach the students about the damaging effects of alcohol.

He places two glasses on his desk then fills one up with water and the other one with whisky. He takes out 2 worms from a little box in his pocket and places one into the water and one into the whisky.

The worm in the water happily moves around, however the one in the whisky goes limp and sinks.

Invitation

"I have invited one of my friends over for dinner tonight,” says the man to his wife.
"Are you nuts?" - asks the wife, "there is no food at home, everything is a mess, and my hair looks awful too. Why would you do such a thing?"
"I wanted to help him. He could not decide if he should get married..."

The indian and the tourists

In an Indian Reservation an Indian is lying on the road with his ears pressed to the pavement. Some tourists are gathering around him.
The Indian says: “White Chevrolet, Florida tag, dented front bumper, 4 white man sitting in it…”
“And you were able to figure all this out, just by listening to the road? – asks a tourist.
“No”, comes the answer, “they just ran me over…”

Men's best friend

Dogs are really men's best friend. If you don't believe it try the following:

Lock your dog and your wife into your car's trunk for an hour.

When you open it, who will be happier to see you?

Wonderful Australia

Australia is a wonderful country, explains a man to his friend, after his vacation.

We had everything there, bars for me, beaches for the kids, sunshine for my wife, and for my mother-in-law there were plenty of sharks...

Superstition

A wife gets a hotel room, so she can be with her lower. Suddenly someone is knocking on the door real hard.

"This must be my husband", says the woman, "Quick, jump out of the window."

"But we are on the 13th floor." - say the lover.

The woman looks at him dumbfounded:
"Don't tell me you are superstitious"

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